


The State of Being Red

by Hephy



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Character Study, Jaytim - Freeform, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Sexual Content, jason todd/tim drake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-12 21:30:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20571218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hephy/pseuds/Hephy
Summary: It started with a kiss on the streets of Tokyo during a mission. After, everything went a little muddy red. That was the color he associated with their passion; not a clean or vibrant fire red and far from simple black and white. Tim thought it was fitting. They were both Red, after all, and no one got them the way they got each other.





	The State of Being Red

The State of Being Red

Tim hadn’t meant to be on his back being fucked by Jason Todd in a hotel suite in Tokyo. It was surreal. A scene right out of his teenage wet dreams. He’d kissed Jason to blend into the city’s background and avoid detection by their targets. It had worked so well Jason made a comment and Tim made one back and now the sun was preparing to rise and this was their second round.

The room was several degrees too warm to be comfortable and they were sweating. Tim didn’t like being this hot or damp during sex and he could have adjusted the thermostat earlier but he had to come clean with himself. He appreciated the sight of Jason, hair a wild mess, with that subtle glisten all over. It didn’t help that Jason had the most scars of any of the family and Tim’s fingertips continually found bumps of tissue or an indentation where a weapon had taken a piece of him.

And here again Tim had to admit the truth; he liked those scars. Liked seeing and feeling the events of life on his skin. Jason wasn’t superhuman. Or an alien with the ability to regenerate without a trace of prior injury. His history was written all over and into his flesh. It only made Tim want him more.

The sight of Jason over him - tall, powerful, handsome - invited him to scratch over those scarred shoulders and back. Claw him up leaving welts and drag him close for a kiss. He wanted to feel another body pressed firm against his own because his latest dry spell had limped on too long and Jason? Jason had been the result of timing, location, and a crush Tim had spent his entire teen and young adult life pretending didn’t exist.

Tim’s head fell back. He accepted the uncomfortable dampness at the base of his skull and the way his hair, growing too long now, was sopping wet at the roots. The blankets and sheets were a rumpled mound but functional the way they angled him for Jason. He offered a moan-sigh and tugged at him.

Jason knew what he wanted and gave him another kiss. Tim whimpered against his mouth when Jason rolled his hips, thrusting deeper. It was like earlier. When Jason had given him that first delightful, invasive thrust that went deeper than all the others and had enough force it shoved Tim - just a little. And he’d parted their mouths at Tim’s little sound. Asked him if it was good or bad and Tim told him _ really good _ and asked to be kissed. Because he missed kissing.

Single for over a year, this was Tim’s first time having sex outside a relationship. Casual was not something he did, but Jason didn’t feel casual. They weren’t strangers or acquaintances. This was Jason. The sex personal in a way Tim knew he couldn’t have with anyone else because no one else was Jason Todd.

He’d known for a long time their relationship in the family was different. Jason was the one he trusted with the jagged or broken edges of himself. The things too murky or dark to reveal to the others. It was a relief to voice his thoughts, knowing in Jason’s eyes he wasn’t falling or becoming unworthy. He was just being human.

They had bonded over their sense of inadequacy. Their practicality. And now they had this. The sex. An evolution of what they were. They had never dated or flirted or discussed sex before. No courtship. No strings. And more than that Tim felt no obligation to overclock himself and outperform everyone else. And it beared repeating that this was _ Jason _. The Robin who, in a fit of traumatized emotional anguish and rage, had nearly killed him more than once but chose not to. Had rendered him unconscious, defenseless, and later put a bullet through him. Pushed him to his limits and made him think he wasn’t good enough but in fact had been the one to ensure he was. They had taken turns breaking each other down and when the fire died and the ash settled they reassembled themselves together.

He didn’t need any masks with Jason. This was peace; locked inside a hotel far above Tokyo’s bustling streets where the world couldn’t judge him. The only one who had that honor tonight was Jason.

And tonight Tim had no fear. It set him free.

Untethered, he was able to experience and appreciate Jason flowing into him. Like an ocean spilling onto a sandy beach, falling back, and rolling in again Jason’s motions were unhurried. He delivered a perfect bite at the peak of each thrust, withdrew, and returned over and over. His body was so controlled there was an otherworldly elegance to him. Tim lost himself to the rhythm, held in a perfect balance of sensations that gave him pleasure without pushing him towards his finish.

He knew Jason could hold and continue holding the pace and as much as he was in the mood they couldn’t fuck indefinately. And he was, physically, ready to come. All he needed was the right push.

He folded his legs back, scratched through Jason’s wet hair and down his neck, and loosed a whining moan between kisses.

“Was wondering how long you were going to let me go.” Jason said and adjusted.

Upright now, he pressed at the backs of Tim’s legs. Spread him. Looked right at him and Tim almost couldn’t cope seeing the hazy look in his eyes. When Jason resumed Tim expelled a thankful sigh and his vision went lazy and blurry. Jason's thrusts became harder, his pace quickening. Exactly what Tim wanted as it ignited a tickle of pleasure that would become an orgasm. It grew and Tim’s brow creased as his anticipation stirred. Jason’s thrusts were powerful and _ perfect _ and Tim’s breathing was breaking as his composure slipped.

He said Jason’s name. Repeated it. Begged him. Warned him. Pleaded for mercy as a heat coiled inside him and needed out. He wanted to clasp at Jason but he couldn't reach him. He needed something to hold, the rising pleasure too much, and grasped at the bedding above his head and dug his fingers and nails into the layers.

A hand gripped his erection, stroked, and his orgasm leapt at him like a whitehot spark. He swore aloud. Wanted to rip something in half. Then he heard himself whine and Jason was right there shushing him and leaning down. The thrusts had stopped and Tim didn’t want it to be over. His hands reached for and found Jason’s shoulders. He curled in and pulled, wanting to be closer. As close as he could be. To Jason. To the pleasure. To the euphoria that was letting go and not caring.

He heard Jason tell him to breathe. Felt their foreheads touch. Their noses bump.

“You’re okay.” Jason said. It was so sweet and unexpected and Tim was suddenly giddy with endorphine-fueled fondness. He rubbed their noses together and lay there shaking in the aftermath. Everything zeroed out and his focus was acutely on Jason. The dark stubble along his solid jaw was a distraction and his beautiful skin that made Tim look like a spirit by comparison was bordering on cruel. The softness of Jason’s voice and the gentleness of his hands was juxtaposed with the image of the Red Hood. Everything coalesced; poured onto and into Tim and he breathed deep just as Jason told him to. This was bliss.

Tim tipped his head and kissed him. The dampness from sweat should have been a deterrent but he didn’t care. Jason must not have either for how he kissed back. When they parted Tim wrapped an arm around Jason’s shoulders.

“Now you.” He said.

After a second encouragement Jason began moving. Tim held him close and let a pleasant sigh slip. He told him it felt good - because it did and he wanted to keep going. It was nice to let Jason lose himself just as he had earlier. And when Jason’s thrusting faltered and he pulled out hissing Tim didn’t let him escape. He took him in hand and gave three rough pulls, working him through his finish.

Jason grunted, oversensitized, and even that was incredible. The way his entire body went rigid as he canted forward. Up and in to the tight grip of Tim’s hand as the last drops spilled but couldn’t escape the condom. Jason’s groan was weary and satisfied followed by a mass relaxation that left him bowing against Tim.

Tim stroked through Jason’s hair and together they descended.

Jason was feeling heavier by the minute but Tim found the weight was grounding. He turned his nose against Jason’s wet hair and kissed his head and inhaled. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the scent of them together.

When Jason moved he pressed a kiss to Tim’s neck, over the ageing scar stretched across his jugular, and rubbed his outer thigh. Terribly intimate and endearing, Tim thought. He loved the gesture.

They cleaned up as they had earlier, taking turns in the shower. It was Jason who peeled the sheets off the bed and remade it with the spare set.

Tim crawled back onto the bed after Jason, clean but still damp, and set his tablet aside after checking for alerts. Several minutes of early morning silence later he looked at Jason.

He seemed lonely. Or worried. Maybe guilty?

Tim rolled and stretched an arm across Jason’s ribs to contour his fingers to his side. To hold him.

He leaned in to touch their temples and said, “I know I run the risk of inflating your ego saying this, but I thought I’d let you know you’re really amazing at sex.”

Jason smiled. It was warm and easy. Appreciative. Contagious. He tucked a wet lock of Tim’s hair behind his ear.

“What made it so great?” He asked.

“A lot of things.” Tim said, “But you not treating me like I’d shatter is appreciated.”

Jason ran his knuckles against Tim’s cheek. Their eyes held each other and Tim’s smile lessened to something shy and fond. Jason wasn’t smiling anymore but Tim saw the softness in his eyes he couldn't hide from him. When Jason spoke he was serious.

“I know what you can handle.”

Jason’s palm opened and Tim leaned into his touch. He closed his eyes and took in the moment and held it alongside a deep breath. He sighed and lowered.

“I like that.” He whispered and kissed Jason again. Let it drag on wanting to see how many seconds before Jason broke away but he lost count and ended up being the one to part them.

Jason swallowed and Tim caught that same look again. The anxious one.

He traced Jason’s jaw with his fingertips. Later this morning Jason would shave and Tim thought he’d like to kiss him then.

“Jason,” Tim said, “I don’t want you regretting this. Now, tomorrow, or when we’re back in Gotham.”

Jason’s eyes searched his. He stroked Tim’s face and pushed back his hair. Sighed.

“I’m not going to regret it.” Jason said.

“Are you sure? Because you look like you already do.” Tim was pulling away. Jason’s fingers threading into his hair at the back of his neck stopped him.

“It’s not regret, Tim. It’s something else.” He pulled Tim in and kissed him.

Tim wanted an elaboration but he also didn’t want Jason to stop. He returned Jason’s plush kisses and savored them. Each was as good as every one before; Jason kissed like he was lavishing praise on him. It was something Tim wanted so fiercely he emitted a quiet, needy whine.

Jason’s grip on him hardened a moment and Tim felt trapped in the best way. Jason pulled back and his voice was almost a whisper.

“Are we going to get any sleep? Or do you want to keep kissing me?”

Tim’s mouth tugged up at the corner, “May I?”

“If circumstances were different, I'd let you, but we both know you never get enough sleep.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’re here. Without supervision,” Tim’s gaze drifted to his tablet, “I’d just stay up and continue working.” His head was turned back but Jason’s touch was gentle like a request.

“Yeah you’re not doing that.” He was told. And he was surprised to find he liked hearing it.

Jason kissed him but kept it short. It was casual like morning coffee or making breakfast for a partner of many years. Not meaningless casual.

It was familiar casual. And it left Tim wondering how the step from there to here had been so effortless.

“_ We _,” Jason reached for his phone, “are going to get a few hours sleep before we get to work. I’m setting an alarm now. And you, prince charming, better behave. Alright?” Jason kissed his cheek. Tim thought it was precious.

“Misbehaving is your department. Or Dick’s. Or Damian’s. I’m the mild child, remember?” Tim said.

“Only because this thing called relativity exists.” Jason reclined and gave Tim’s backside a light slap, “Don’t get an ego about it.”

“Of course not.” Smiling, Tim bent to kiss Jason’s bare chest.

He tucked in against Jason’s side and an arm came up to secure him. It was an unspoken announcement of acceptance and comfort Tim didn’t know he’d been yearning for.

They fit together and it felt _ good _. A thrill went through Tim; he hadn’t felt one like it in years and he knew he could sleep just like this - now and even tomorrow. A week from now. A month. Year. Perhaps a lifetime. He couldn’t say.

But as Jason’s fingers combed through his hair he softened further. The outside world fell away, rendered harmless and inconsequential even if only for a little while. He felt safe in a way he never had working beside anyone else in the family. And if he was being honest, it was a sense of security he never experienced with Conner or Stephanie. The thought was tinged with sadness and guilt and he pushed it away before he tarnished memories of two people he still loved.

He didn’t need to focus on the past. The future hung over him but even that he was finding difficult to consider when in the present he had something more enticing. It was something he hadn’t had often in his life and when he did he hadn’t been able to hold onto it.

Could he hold onto this? To Jason? To someone so outside their unit that it would be like trying to hold something molten? Something that pushed away when too close for too long became frightening?

He didn’t know and there were no guarantees trying wouldn't end in fire like so many things before.

But he wanted this feeling. He wanted to retain it and nurture it and know what it was like to end a day feeling that security.

Tim craved to be kissed after a rough patrol the way Jason kissed him - like he was important and desired and worthy. Like he wasn't just good enough he was more than enough.

Jason had once asked him to be his Robin. Was this so different? Would it be too much to ask for? When they already understood the other so thoroughly? Their history. Their failures. Their weaknesses and strengths.

They were Red; different but the same. And none of it seemed to matter while at the same time it did. If not for their history Jason wouldn’t have held him the way he did between last night and this morning. His hands wouldn’t have projected the same familiarity and acceptance when they chased invisible lines all over his skin. The kisses wouldn’t have come so easy and the intimacy wouldn’t have felt authentic. But it did. And it meant everything to Tim.

Jason shifted and sighed. His hand rubbed Tim’s back, fingers dipping into the curve of his spine. Like he was tracing a piece of priceless art.

“Tim,” Jason said, voice a tired murmur, “I can practically hear your brain burning. Get some sleep. Everything will still be here when you wake up.”

“Will it?” Tim said. Because so often in their lives that wasn’t the case.

Jason squeezed him and said, “I’ll be here.”

“I know you will.” Tim said, smiling. He shut his eyes and wrapped his arm a little further around Jason. Felt more scars and these he recognized. He pushed the pads of his fingers back and forth over the series of ridges spread in a claw-like pattern. A memory from the blades of an assassin sent for him not Jason. He felt a phantom sensation at the scar on his neck and wriggled to snuggle closer. Jason pulled to assist and Tim released a pleasant, content sigh.

It didn’t matter if he hadn’t planned on kissing Jason Todd. Because in the future? He would.

**Author's Note:**

> Please accept this disaster that is my love for JayTim. Someday I'd like to upload something with actual plot but I never seem to be able to finish the long stuff.


End file.
